I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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