my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
false alarm, still single
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