her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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