GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
