There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
