We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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