youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
