Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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