It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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