The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
