If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
