Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it was like eating out sand paper
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
