Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
