Its about making memories worth repressing
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
