dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This baby is an asshole
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
