Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
