when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
