Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
