cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
