its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
