Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
