isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
