Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
