Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
