I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
