how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
