just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
