when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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