Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you didnt know i had herpes?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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