Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We are all done wearing pants today
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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