I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i love accidental penises.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
