He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
