Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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