apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
