'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
