woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
