OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
