Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
