you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He has the fingertips of a God
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