Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize