No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
