Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
