Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
