My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
