Can Purell be used as lube?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
