it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
