it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
