Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
