i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
