she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
