He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
