you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
