So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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