Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
